Its ME! Blogging

Last night, I had a conversation with the drama queen while she's playing with her doll named baby pina:

DQ: Mummy, nanti mummy pergilah bercinta dengan ayah, Dada nak adik perempuan. Dada nak namekan die princess.

Poor Mummy: ?? kan Shaahid ade tu!

DQ: Taknak, Dada nak adik perempuan..Mummy pergilah bercinta, Dada tak pandang.

Hahahahhaha...thats funny. She thought hugging and kissing is 'bercinta' and you can pop out baby out of that! Clever girl.

March is indeed a celebration month for me because:

• 2nd March - Yours truly birthday
• 3rd March - My Anniversary
• 17th March - My one and only crazy sister's birthday (kakcik)
• 19th March - My brother's birthday (nazri)
• 19th March - My best colleague's birthday (Rachel TTB)
• 20th March - The drama queen's birthday
• 25th March - My primary school's bestfriend's birthday (Hasliza Razak)
• 27th March - My beloved mom's birthday

So there you go! There will be lots of cakes, camwhoring, laughter and of course, celebration. Mine was GREAT!! I'll tell you why....or not! See, I'm such a procrastinator..that's bad I know. I'll try my best to post up something about my birthday, InsyaAllah..

Today's lunch, Ms. Nenen fetched me to Tesco. She's actually looking for a curtain blind for her new house. So we go straight to look for it and not having lunch first. Since she's on diet, she bought Munchy's Oat Biscuits to bring back to her office as lunch and thanks to her, I decided to substitute my normal lunch diet to a peanut butter waffle and blueberry cheese tart (I dont know but I think the amount of calories are equally consumed like any other days, might as well have kfc zinger burger right? silly me).

And Ms. Nenen, apparently she has lost 4kg, congratulations baby, I know you how hard it is! Sadly, the 4kgs have actually transferred to my belly and tights and the backside. I'm currently looking like 4months pregnant woman. Now you can imagine how stressful I am. I know maybe some would say, hey!! Dont be silly okay!!! You are not that fat!! You are just exaggerating and you just want people to say that you are skinny, but please...I know my body better. And when I said I gained weight, that means I am. And maybe I'm not that fat afterall, but I want to keep it that way. And trust me its not easy. I've been very thankful to lost most fat during confinement and I hope I could maintain it but now, after gaining that 4kg, I doubt I can.

At some point, I was hoping that I'm actually pregnant. So that I wouldn't worry so much. But unfortunately, the red flag making an appearance yesterday. So its confirmed I'm not pregnant. So how am I going to explain this flabby ass and tummy???? HOWWWW?????!!! Oh yes...maybe I'm loosing my mind. I actually remember eating nasi lemak for breakfast, junk food at 10am, nasi beriani for lunch, kuih at 3.30pm, some bread and coffee when I reached home at 6, and there's a dinner. Well, I'm lucky enough I didn't do late night snacking or else, you'll see an elephant walking innocently in a hospital. Now THAT'S scary.

I hate being tagged unnecessarily.

My little hero turned 1yo today.

I still remember putting him on a bed in operation theater at UMMC when he was exactly 1month. I didnt wait until the doctor put him to sleep coz I dont want to see that and I dont want to cry infront of the doctors and nurses.

For those who dont know and want to know, my son underwent an operation due to liver problem. His paeds, Dr. Chin first detected this when he had prolong jaundice after birth and referred me to a gastro specialist in UMMC. The doctor told us that we need to do the surgery immediately. He also said it might be biliary atresia and to confirm it, surgery needs to be done.

I refused at first and chose to do traditional treatment. I went and see this one ustaz and he said, it was not biliary atresia however, he has liver problem. When I see Dr. Chin for 1 month check up, he advised me to go ahead with the operation as its too risky to rely on traditional medicine.

Then only I realized how I compromise his life by not taking him to go ahead with the operation. I immediately see the paeds gastro in UMMC again and was referred to a very nice paeds surgeon. This doctor arranged everything and within 1 day, my son is scheduled for an operation.

A group of surgeon came and examine my son the day before and briefed me on how the procedure would be. They said, they will confirm the diagnosis first by making an incision in the abdomen and if it is confirmed biliary atresia, they will proceed with Kasai procedure on the spot.

I was so anxious while waiting outside the operation room. Doctor said if it is not biliary atresia, the operation will take only 2 hours or so and if they proceed with Kasai, it will take longer than that and they will not inform us when they proceed with the procedure.

The operation went on more than 2 hours and I cant sit still any longer and went and asked the nurse at the nurses' station. They said, the operation is still ongoing. Haihhhh..only God knows how anxious I was. But I kept on praying. Not more than 30 minutes later, a nurse called my name and told me that they have done the operation and Alhamdulillah, it was not biliary atresia.

Dr. Chin said, normally child who diagnosed with biliary atresia will have other problem as they grow up.

Up till now, my son still have to do his follow ups in UMMC but Alhamdulillah, he is one healthy boy now. He's progressing very well and healed at a very short time after the operation.

He is now one cheeky boy who always smile. He made his first step very early and is making more steps. Unlike his sister, he is now can walk quite steadily at exactly 1yo. Alhamdulillah.

I just hope that he will grow up healthy just like any other child. And hopefully, he will completely discharge from his follow ups.

To my apple Al-Shaahid, if you read this one day, please remember that I love you soooo...much!! You are a fighter, thats for sure. You suits your name. And may Allah bless you all the time. Amin...

Much love,
Mummy

when he was first admitted due to jaundice

he was weak at this point of time and was given antibiotic for 7 days due to some infection. he sleeps all the time and woke up only 1 or 2 times for milk and its not a good sign. Then Dr. Chin advised me to go back and leave him in the hospital under their care in the nursery.

He was isolated from other babies in the nursery :(

At UMMC before the operation. He was in his operation suit. Sedih gile time ni! And hid eyes and nose were reddish coz he cried so much for milk. He cant take anything few hours before the operation. Its a torture for me and for him of course.

After the operation. He was still sedated at this time.



He is now one healthy boy, Alhamdulillah...

I think from now on, I'll write short entries so that I dont have to crack my head so much for the sake of updating. And I'll end up not writing anything. And yes, will put up more pictures so that pembaca-pembaca *kalau ade lah..* tak muak atau bosan. ye ke?? Well, here are some photos during my niece's birthday recently that people might enjoy looking at.

super hero & little hero

mimi *bday girl* & alyssa

fifi *#2 bday girl* anak patung jepun

rifa the munching monster

hei..its my drama queen!!

Till then, toodles!

Yesterday i ate bihun sup simply because one of my friend yg dah xnak kawan dgn i lagi tulis kat dlm blog die mak die masak mi sup.tibe2 teringin.but i bet mak die pnye mesti 10times better than the one that i ordered.and yes,kawan kite tu dah xnak kawan dgn kite lg..kite nak bgtau cikgulah camni!

sometimes its funny looking at people's reaction on certain things, especially at the age of TWENTY NINE YEARS OLD mind u!

Tu lah mak ai slalu pesan, kalau nampak salah orang, please tengok kat diri sendiri tu. Ape yang kite dah buat. Then u judge. Thank you ;)

*i want to elaborate more, but then..nahhhh!!i'm better than that dude!
**tulisan i warne purple, menggambarkan betapa rasionalnye i.. comel kan kan kan!!
***CUKUP!

Truth hurts.

It is even hurt when you cant do anything to fix the damage that you have done.

Right now, I look at us differently. Its just not the same.

Is it wrong for me to stand for him? I'm a wife, and it is my duty to stay next to him through ups and downs, through thick and thin.

And whatever things that shouldn't been said, have been said. I know I've done mistakes. But I think I dont deserve this.

Right now, I have no choice but to stay put.
Right now, I dont really know how I feel.
I am not angry.
I am not sad.
I feel... little. Yes little.

I surely can forgive, but could I ever forget?

I've delivered a 3.15kg baby boy on 11th June 2009 at 10.31a.m. The delivery wasn't so hard like the first time. This time around I only experienced the main contraction for about 10-15 minutes then kebushh!! Here out the baby ;p. We named the baby Sayf Al-Shaahid. Sayf means Sword, while Shaahid means Angle. Husband chose the name this time and I have no objection coz the meaning is so beautiful.

Before I was discharged, my son had jaundice however the peads said he doesnt required admission but a follow up checkup need to be done in 3 days. After 3 days, the reading worsen and he was admitted. Even after a week of admission, his jaundice does not show any better infact, the doctor said he had some infection and required antibiotic for 3 days, and prolong to 7 days after that. He had fever and was isolated from other babies due to his condition.

After a month, his jaundice was still appear and the doctor did a blood test which revealed that he actually had a liver function problem. The paeds referred him to a gastroenterologist in UMMC and we were told that he required immediate operation. By recalling and writing this i actually have tears in my eyes. I dont know where my strength coming from at that time. I wasnt really cry so much at that time coz i know i must be strong. And I'm actually preparing myself to accept the fact that i might lost him, how his life was being compromised at that time. Only after all that i realized how sad I am and what if I lost him? Really I cant take it, I'm sure I can never accept it.

But that was the past. Now he's a healthy boy who's so funny and make my life complete. He will be having his follow up check up but all are good, he's progressing well.

Through this chapter, I now appreciate life more. And now I know how much I would sacrifice for my children. My mom always said 'kau tak tau, kau belum jd mak'. Now I know mak, I know how mothers would over-react on certain things involving their children.

Ok till we meet again. I'll upload my son's photos when I got time. Till then, ta!

This was written sometimes ago in my phone at around 3a.m. Now only I'm able to write it in my blog.

Some people just love to be DIFFICULT! They like to complicates simple things. Reason??? Maybe they want to show that they have power and their say means alot so they simply make things difficult for others.